Don’t panic. If the Maronation Tour is sold out near you we may be adding shows like we did in Boston. I will let you know.
I have a few more weeks of shooting on ‘Maron’ and it’s going very well. I’ve looked at some rough cuts and I thought they looked great. I’ll be directing an episode I wrote in the final week and I’m looking forward to it. I don’t know what to do with this feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. Wait, I still have three weeks of work. Okay, I’m filled with the dread again. Phew. That was close. I may have to retire or run away at the end of this year.
I’m watching the Oscars because I can’t help myself. I like them. I like looking at movie stars. So, I’m not going to write to much here. It’s interrupting my live Tweeting and mocking something I actually like. That’s the word we live in. We have to feed the monster and hurt our hearts because it feels good sometimes to struggle. Bucking and thrashing from the inside. I’m exhausted.
Let's go with that. I am anxious and exhausted from being tethered to my phone, Twitter and the random judgment by strangers and I let myself get strung out. I’m starting to think there is nothing quite as addicting as social media and it is making my brain numb. I know I’m not saying anything new. I’m just really realizing it. I fantasize about detaching completely from all communication. It’s weird. It’s primarily because I can't pull myself away for very long. I know what addiction is and what it feels like and this is it. I dread it but need it and can't get free from it. Crazy. I’m so fucking busy so it’s not like I’m spending the day dicking around on Twitter but enough time to make me feel like I am wasting my time and fucking my brain up somehow.
I guess it’s all to avoid the darkness. Some people aren’t prone to the darkness. Some people know they are but can stay away from it. Some people are enveloped in it. Some people do everything they can to avoid it, which means when the enter it they do it with a vengeance. I talked to author Nick Tosches today. He is one of the portals to the darkness. Not unlike Hubert Selby, Jerry Stahl or William Burroughs, Tosches knows how to go in, navigate, extricate, embrace and amplify the human darkness. And he can get real fucking dark. His books have changed my life in terms of understanding how to be compassionate to the monsters that we all are.
On Thursday Kevin Allison is in the garage being fun and filthy.