Exciting day today.
About halfway through shooting the new season of ‘Maron.’ It’s been a blast. Last week I worked with Sally Struthers and she was a hoot. And I’ve never used the word ‘hoot’ in my life but she was one. She has the exact comedic intensity that she brought to ‘Five Easy Pieces’ and ‘The Getaway’ and ‘All in the Family,' obviously. So funny. She’s such a pro. It was a real thrill to work with her and the scenes and episode we did together is pretty fucking dark and weird… but funny! This whole season is a departure into some pretty great territory, comedy- and emotions-wise.
I think a lot about myself. Too much, I imagine. I wonder about who I really am and what that really means. We all play roles. We are caricatures of ourselves. We have different roles at work, in our relationship, around certain people, around strangers, when we walk down the street. Again, I know I am self-conscious/aware. But it is odd after talking to so many people, most of whom have public personas, how many are much more interesting and obviously more deep than we assume. I have no idea what to do with who I ‘really’ am or what that even means. I know pretty well what makes me uncomfortable and whether or not that is fear or just coming from not liking something. But in terms of what really makes me tick there are things that I just don’t share. I know that is surprising but I think we all have that stuff.
The reason we don’t share it other than fear of being judged may be just because we want to keep it to ourselves. Even if it’s not healthy. I have friends and family who insist that they will become better people if they just process all the little desire cancers and fears and emotional injuries they can find within. I’m not saying that won’t help. It will. Ultimately, you have to live with some of that stuff. Give it air when you are comfortable with yourself or with someone else and it will breathe and be relieved. I know I’m being vague but it just seems to me that there are some things that will go unresolved and fester for as long as you live, like creepy secrets and things you know you can't do because you can't handle it. I think that’s just life. If you spend your life trying to ‘fix’ yourself, what kind of life it that? Shit is hard. Being in your skin can be horrible. It will pass if you let it or it may be just who you are. Love it.
All that being said, Sacha Baron Cohen rarely talks as himself, out of character. I had no idea what he would be like. He decided to talk to me and it was a great conversation. You can hear that today. On Thursday I have a long conversation with seminal 70s director, William Friedkin. It was amazing. Great week.