I am making television.

It’s happening again, People.

The time has come. I am making television.

Today is day one of shooting season 3 of ‘Maron.’ I’ll be up early in my trailer running lines. It’s going to be a long day. All I’m thinking about is ‘I hope I don’t get sick.’ Not, ‘This is going to be great.’ My brain fucks with me so hard when I have things that I have to show up for where other people are depending on me or are scheduled and timed for specific reasons. If I am doing an interview I can noodle around an hour or two before and get into the zone. If I am doing the intro for the podcast sometimes it takes me half the day to get to the mic. Today I have to be on set. There are a lot of people doing a lot of jobs that make tv happen and this tv show has my name on it. I don’t really think about it all too much but I would like to be excited. The scripts are good. We’ve got two seasons under our belt. We know the terrain. I am comfortable in my fictional me. I want this season to be the best one so far. I just cant seem to get my head out of ‘I hope I don’t fuck this up’ mode into ‘This is going to fun’ mode. I’ve been that way my entire life. I'm beginning to think the trick might be in experiencing gratitude. It is not my go to. My default setting is ‘everything kind of sucks’ not ‘there are a lot of great things happening.’

I really just keep moving. I keep distracted. I rarely just stop or slow down. There is always something going. Even if I’m at home I’m always moving. It’s like I can’t stop out of fear that I won’t start again or something. I need to take a breath and be fucking grateful. My life did not have to turn out this way. It was not heading this way. I seem to have ended up on my feet and things are going well. I have decided to enjoy my life and feel happy. I’m a decent person. I worked hard. I deserve it. Shit. Did that sound convincing. I felt it all while I was writing it. Not now, though. Maybe I’ll just write that stuff on an index card and wear it around my neck in one of those things with the little plastic window where people with jobs put their security cards and driver’s license. Yeah. I’ll get on of those. I’ll call it my gratitude pouch. I’ll put a picture of my face with a strained smile in there as well.

We will be shooting 12 hour days, at least. Five days a week for two and a half months. But the podcast will go on! Must go on! My show is set in my neighborhood for a reason. I can scramble home at lunch and RECORD the show. Don’t worry, people. I got this.

Sometimes you just don’t know what you will get when you talk to an actor. Today I talk to Jason Schwartzman who is just as much of a sweetheart as you would think. Great guy. Fun talk. On Thursday I talk to the amazing and spectacular Andrea Martin about SCTV, her book and just life, really. I love her.


Boomer lives!