Some Things Have Leveled Off

Birthday time, People! Damn.

Somehow or another I’ve done it again. I’ve lived. Another year has passed and I am now fifty-fucking-two years old. I feel okay. Most things are going well. I understand that. There is part of my brain that insists that isn’t quite the case and has other plans. I am in damage control mode when there is no crisis. Exhausting. I have to figure out another mode.

It’s strange and I seem to be talking about it a lot one way or the other but I am getting older and sometimes I don’t know what to do with my life. I have spent so much of it driving myself crazy and pushing towards something and trying to make something work. I had a lot of faith that once I achieved whatever I was trying to do I would be all better. Now, some things have leveled off. I’ve achieved so much of what I set out to do and I am proud of it and grateful for it. I have to say I wonder what happens now. Do I just keep pushing or is there a time where I enjoy life? Or can I do them simultaneously? Or am I actually enjoying life? It seems that it should be clearer to me. More apparent.

Is it strange that I fantasize about moving off the cultural grid? Not the actual grid, just the draining, desperate, frustrated clutter of the end of civilization. You know, CONTENT! Media cancer. Clickbait. The grand fragmented distraction that people base their tragic, shallow perception on. I can't take it. That and fucking traffic. Yeah, I just would like to be on an island somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. Sitting. Thinking, Walking around. Breathing. Figuring out what is important and what joy is. Is that a crazy dream? Maybe I can try it for a week. See how it goes. Maybe I’ll just keep it as a fantasy.

This week I talk to a man that grew up in show business and now has a very diverse career in it. Jake Kasdan, son of Lawrence, talks to me in the garage on Monday about directing, writing and producing. On Thursday the perfect Michaela Watkins. Amazing actress, amazing person and hilarious. Love her.


Boomer lives!