I think it was the chopped liver.

I’ve almost made it through, People-

I’m still here. Yes, I am still in Florida as I write this. Pray for me.

I am leaving this morning. So, if something drastically dramatic doesn’t happen in the next couple of hours I will have made it through the Thanksgiving ordeal and the days that surround it without too much drama or aggravation. It’s a miracle OR maybe I’m just finally growing up. But that seems ridiculous.

I believe I detached. I shut down a bit. I was mentally and emotionally constipated. Then, after the feast, physically as well. I didn’t want to lose my shit on any level. So, I shut down a bit. It happened innately. It wasn’t a choice. I think I do it most of time when I come here but it used to be like a simmering. Like I was a bomb waiting to go off. I didn’t quite feel that. I think I was actually doing the right thing. I engaged as much as I could and I behaved like an adult instead of child—for the most part. I didn’t snap. Well, maybe twice. Twice at my mother and once at her boyfriend. What are you going to do? It happens. They’re annoying. The cooking went well. The food was the best I had ever done. Seeing my aunt and uncle and cousins and their families was great, actually. I couldn’t quite understand why things went well and why I didn’t feel aggravated the whole time. Like I said, I am older and things are better with me in general but not really emotionally. I’m working on it. Coming along. There was some other force at work. I think it was the chopped liver.

Every Thanksgiving my Aunt Barbara makes chopped liver. This is a Jewish thing. Many of you don’t know chopped liver. Usually it’s a recipe that’s been in the family for years passed down from one grandmother or the other. The recipe my aunt uses is my Grandma Goldy’s. When I was a little kid in Jersey everyone used to gather at Jack and Goldy’s in Pompton Lakes. When I lived there as a young kid and up until I was in college I would visit that house and the family would congregate there. Eventually my grandparents moved to Florida. They are both gone now. The fact is, now maybe I see what’s left of my extended family on my mother’s side once a year at Thanksgiving. It had been two years this time. As I said everything went fine but there is always a weird distance. People get older, they have their own problems, there is sickness and death, kids are getting older. They have lives that I have nothing to do with. So, it’s weird dropping into their lives for one yearly meal. There can be a sadness to it. Especially if emotions are triggered somehow. This year, for some reason, Barbara really nailed the chopped liver. Just nailed. I had one bite of it and it triggered the amazing feeling of family unity and warmth that existed at Goldy’s when I was a kid. I couldn’t stop eating it. It leveled whatever detachment or aggravation or sadness I had and brought everything together emotionally for me. My entire emotional history was sated by a spread on a cracker and I enjoyed the day. Powerful.

On Monday I speak to the amazing Norman Lear a lot about his early days in television up through All In the Family. Great talk that could’ve gone on for hours. It was late though. He’s 92 and he still came to the garage. On Thursday Chrissie Hynde hangs out in the garage. Intense story. Intense woman. The new record is great.


Boomer lives!