Punchy.

I’m feeling it, Folks!

The driving and the weird beds and varied pillows and strange sounds of hotels starts to wear me down a little. I’m just glad that generally, even if I’m only in town one night, I can register and remember where the bathroom is in each room before I crash. It's good to know when you’re a man over 50. Plan ahead. Don’t fall down. Don’t walk into a wall. Don’t die.

I’m not complaining, but I’m getting a little punchy. Sometimes that’s good for the work, sometimes it makes me a little too sensitive and defensive. Which can also be good, not for the people I direct it at, but mild bullying in a comedy show context can be funny. Even if I don’t really want to do it, I have the skills.

As much as I am tired of the context of comedy show expectations that were built into the form in the eighties, I was built during that time as well. Reactive. Ready.

This last week’s shows have been very good. Great, even. All of them. Madison, Milwaukee, Chicago and Minneapolis. My midwestern fans are the best. They know how to behave at a show. They are there to listen and laugh. They are open-hearted folks willing to go for the ride I’m providing. As much as I condescend to the ‘middle of the country’ sometimes, I really do know that there are plenty of good people there. Progressive people. Smart people. Isolated, sad people. People that need exactly the kind of show I’m doing.

I was punchy last night. I was at the Pantages Theatre in Minneapolis. Fourth show in a row of long shows. The last one of this run. It was my third time there. Lynn Shelton directed me in Too Real there and I did a show before the pandemic there as well. Seats around 900. Pretty much sold out. Sitting front and center were a middle aged couple who weren’t laughing at all. Nothing. It was really the only row I could see. Obviously, it didn’t really matter. The show was going great but I could SEE them. Nothing.

Eventually I asked if they were at the right show. Ron White was up the street, maybe they screwed up. I did an impression of the man’s face so the rest of the theatre could see what I was dealing with. Standard crowd work stuff. Big laughs. Nothing from them. Then when I talk about my typical audience, I say it’s mostly disgruntled, middle aged women and whoever they bring to the show who sit there saying, ‘So, this is the guy you like, huh?’ That made him laugh. That was the situation. Then back to nothing.

I have a bit of a break from comedy this week. I’m going to Tulsa to shoot an episode of Reservation Dogs. I’m very excited. I am sorry I had to reschedule my Dynasty Typewriter shows. Another time. I’m in LA a lot. There’s plenty of opportunity to see me.

Today I talk to skateboarding legend Tony Hawk. I knew nothing about skateboarding. It didn’t matter. On Thursday I talk to film director Nicole Holofcener about her movies and writing. Great talks.

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Some Great Stuff.

Back for a few days, Folks!

I am out in it. 

It’s good to be home for a few days. I have to ground myself. I have to work off the meat and pudding. I have to connect with my cats. I have to cook some food. I have to talk to some people. Then I have to leave again. 

I guess I haven’t written since I was in NYC. Well, I did some shit.

I appeared on The Tonight Show and I had a great time. I actually get excited to talk to Jimmy because he’s excitable. It’s a weird grind he’s in. I knew I could wake him up. If I was really focused and kept it real I’d get him. He’s just the kind of host you want to make laugh. I always want the audience to laugh when I do those shows but I wanted to get Jimmy going because it makes it more fun. I wanted to get him laughing for real. Like, Colbert is not a laugher, and it can be a drag to talk to him because, ostensibly, I’m there to be funny, and I can do that. I killed with Jimmy and the audience. I even talked him into setting me up for another bit after they ran the clip from The Bad Guys because I had planned a call back to the ‘old head’ bit. He didn’t know if I could make it work because it had been like 6 minutes since that bit. He told me to go for it and if it didn’t work he could cut it out. I did it. Killed. After the segment he said, ‘you know how to land it.’ I do. 

I saw the Whitney Biennial which was a mixed bag. That’s the idea though. A lot of stuff of all kinds makes a chaotic, exciting whole. I saw some great stuff. It’s always good to go to the museum. I’m a member! I think it will be an incentive to get me back to NYC more often. That and the theatre.

I saw my pal Sam Rockwell do American Buffalo with Laurence Fishburne. Great. Fast paced play. Prime Mamet. I had seen Pacino play Teach back in the day. Sam’s was less menacing which made the aggressive futility and pathos of the small-time crime undertaking at the center of the story even more pathetic and sadly funny. It was a solid production. 

I ate corned beef at Katz’s and borscht at Veselka and octopus and turbot at Kyclades. Full trip. 

I did the Paramount Theatre in Austin for the Moontower Festival. It was an amazing show. Alejandro Escovedo came to the show and I got to meet him. I love his music. 

I went to Opies. I ate ribs and brisket and sausage and cobbler and banana pudding. I’m still sweating. 

This week I will be in Madison, Milwaukee, Chicago and Minneapolis. Come. 

I will probably be canceling two if not all three of my Dynasty Typewriter shows next week so I can go film an episode of ‘Reservation Dogs’ because it’s an amazing show and I want to be part of it. I will make it up to you if you have tickets. I am sorry. 

I am one of the stars of the movie that is #1 at the box office. The Bad Guys is a hit. I’m thrilled. It’s a nice thing to be part of. 

Today I talk to Vanessa Bayer about her teenage cancer and her funniness and her new show I Love That For You and on Thursday I talk to Trombone Shorty about New Orleans, the trombone and music in general. Great talks. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron

Neural Canals.

Roading it, Folks.

New England, again.

It’s been great. I really don’t know why this tour is somehow revelatory to me personally. I think it’s the car time. The moving meditation of driving the familiar interstates. Seeing the almost-Springness of the eastern states. The crisp air and cataloging my past through memories attached to the geography.

I’ve talked about it before but I continue to look at my experiences as a young comic as somewhat traumatic. Paying my dues. I don’t regret any of it but it’s very hard for me to picture myself at that age doing the shows I was doing. Going up cold in non-comedy club situations for half hour opening slots and just doing the thing for locals out for a comedy night or surprised by it happening. The true terror of all of that and rising above it. Sure, it made me stronger but the cortisol and adrenaline and fury of it all definitely jacked my neural canals and created a shield.

Now, for fleeting moments, I can get under that shield and try to feel that terror again and what may have been beneath it and what drove me to do it and keep doing it. I cant answer that. I only know I did and I do.

I think that’s why I may be insisting on being my own opener. Going up cold and letting the show unfold. Now, with years of experience and the fearlessness that comes from that I can give that terrified kid from the past a break. Take in the excitement of going up cold and easing into it as a pro. Let the pathways reconfigure and ease and make it right for the old me. The me that was only thinking about getting that first laugh. The jarring transition from off stage onto the stage. Or onto a platform in the corner of a bar or the front of a hotel conference room or a dancefloor. The wild vulnerability of that. Taking that hit. Damn. Glad I can show up for the angry, terrified kid.

It’s been a great run. Every show. Tarrytown, Providence and Boston. I’m writing this the day of the Maine show. I did two shows at the Wilbur in Boston and both were almost two hours long. They were great for me. Returning back to the town where it started and going up cold and confident and excited. Revelatory.

I even know that two hours is unnecessary and too long actually. Some people had enough at an hour and half. Fuck it. It could always be the last time.

Today I talk to director Robert Eggers about his films The VVitch, The Lighthouse and his new one, The Northman. On Thursday I talk to the creator of The Bad Guys children’s books, Aaron Blabey. Great talks.

Enjoy!

Boomer, LaFonda and Monkey live!

Love,
Maron

Old Faces.

The Comedy Store, People!

It was the 50th anniversary of The Comedy Store last week. There was a party. The vortex was opened.

I don’t know if I can explain the current that I locked into at The Comedy Store but it is real. It connected the day I walked into the place when I was 22. I became a doorman there. The combination of bad boundaries, anger, undefined sense of self, nebulous parenting, desire to be funny and cocaine made me vulnerable to all the ghosts that had passed through that place. They knew I would be among them eventually and chose to light me up. Just reading that last sentence makes me realize it's very easy to tap into the mystical chaos that my mind manufactured as I slowly devolved into cocaine psychosis. It was kinda real though. As real as most things that have to pass through the head to be understood however any particular head is going to understand those things at any particular time. There were no cell phones. My imagination was richer and more menacing.

Now, understand, I am at The Comedy Store most nights of the week now if I’m in town. There was a dark, haunting, mystical tone that I felt in the place for years. No more. Oddly, I think it’s gone in a general sense. I am not the only one that felt that. There are others like me. The comics that belong there. That shit was real.

In terms of comedy, when I was a doorman, I lived at the place. It was my whole life for almost a year. I was absorbing. My brain was wide open. Sadly, a lot of dark weirdness got in there. It helped at the time and maybe even now but it was a lot to process. It took years. Most of the people I saw there were comics people don’t really know. Whatever my judgement of them was at the time doesn’t matter. They were doing what I wanted to be doing and it was all electric to me. Obviously, being under the mentorship of Sam Kinison made me prematurely bitter and very weird. I loved it though until it went bad and I had to leave quickly, get my passport renewed and stay ahead of the ghosts and dark forces (and get sober).

All that said, I was excited to go to the party. I didn’t know who would be there. It turns out not many of the big stars, either current or past, showed up. It was a lot of the working comics who were regularly on stage when I was a doorman and general staff, past and present. Joey Camen, Joey Gaynor, Steve Mittlemen, Cathy Ladman, Barry Sobel, Larry Scarano and Barry Sobel to name a few. I don’t think anyone has been as excited to see Joey Camen as I was, maybe ever. All the old faces just lit me up. It was like I was on coke working the door again. I was a twitching appendage of the place that grew me, part of me. The beginning of me as a comedian.

Bill Kinison was there. I can see and feel his crazy brother in the way he talked and laughed. I have fairly conflicted feelings about my time with Sam. In the end he was a monster but it was exciting and wild and I got a little of that juice from his old ass brother. Wild.

The highlight of the night in terms of interaction and comedy had to come when I asked a server a question. All the hors d'oeuvres were classic Jewish food. Potato pancakes, knishes, little bagels and lox, tiny bites of pastrami sandwich, etc. I wanted to know where they were from, what caterer. So I asked a woman who was holding a tray of the little pastrami sandwich pieces, “Where are these from?” She looked at me and like someone who just learned something hours before said, “They’re Jewish!”

Hilarious. She clearly wasn’t.

Today I talk to the amazing Bonnie Raitt about music. Thursday I talk to the amazing Harvey Fierstein about his memoir. Great talks!

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Connected for Real.

Georgia, Folks!

The show in Georgia was full. The crowd was great. I was a little shaky. The quadruple macchiato an hour before the show didn’t help. 

It’s always weird to me to feel like that on stage but it’s what I do. No matter how ‘crafted’ my bits are I can't really fake it up there. I felt a little frazzled in Atlanta for some reason. 

I’ve chosen to open for myself. Another way of looking at it is that I am just doing a full show. An engaged 1.5 hours-ish theatrical event. It’s not Blue Man Group but it's close. The Atlanta show was the first show where I held the show for fifteen and when I went out there people were still getting to their seats. I literally had to do an opening set to get the place settled which meant a bit of crowd work and I scrambled a few of the first bits just trying to get the room focused. It kind of bummed me out and started the show off on a looser footing than I like and created a tone. I also felt like I saw too many people. It wasn’t dark enough in the crowd and I have a weird habit of focusing on individuals which I feel is odd. It must be a lot of pressure for them. 

The good part of a show like that is that it’s very intimate and hands on. If I feel like I don’t have my footing I generally stay up there longer and do everything I can to connect in a way that is satisfying to ME. The people got a great show. I’m not sure I did. It kind fucked my head up a bit. It made me a little emotionally tired. I started to question my process. An hour and forty-five minutes is a long time to stay as engaged as I am when I do comedy. I'm definitely not going from laugh to laugh as my focus. I want to feel connected for real. Ridiculous. I should just do my act.

My brother came up from Florida with his GF who has family there. So, I got to hang out with him which was nice. Catch up. Do the brother thing. 

The hotel I stayed at was nice enough but I do have a problem with what seems to be a trend with hotels these days. Especially boutique or hip style hotels. I think they should be up front about it. If the hotel turns into a fucking nightclub on the weekends to the point where every room in the place is shaking with bass beat, we should know going in. When you are booking a room, on the site, it should say something like, ‘This room is directly under our rooftop bar which will be blasting hip-hop all day Saturday until midnight and your room will literally shake.  So, if you are too old to appreciate that or you need to get some sleep because you have an early flight, this might not be the place for you, old man.’ Something like that would be helpful. 

Considering my introspective mindset it was probably better off. There’s something about hotel rooms. Even if I’m there only one night, there’s a darkness possible. I assume it's common. It might even have a name like ‘Hotel Room Affective Disorder.’ A deep depression that comes over you once you climb into bed in a hotel room. It doesn’t last generally. So, the pounding bass and tinkling glasses and laughter and chatting was not helping. I couldn’t sleep AND there was part of me that was thinking why am I not up there partying, man. I don’t know how to live.  It was also good though, because I wouldn’t feel comfortable going up to the roof to jump off when everyone was having such a good time.

Jk. I’m ok.

Today I talk to comedian Adam Ray. I work with him a lot at the Comedy Store. Funny guy. Good guy. On Thursday I talk to someone I have been in two movies and a TV series with and I’ve never met her, Zazie Beetz. Good talks!

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron

A Lonely Molar.

Oral surgery, People!

Not great. I think the procedure went fine. They had to rip a tooth out of my head.  A dead molar with a crown on it. An old root canal was rotting. 

I am very glad I decided to be out of it during the process. It would’ve been a fucking nightmare to be awake for. I walked to the dentist's office at six in the morning. They sat me in the chair and laid out the most nightmarish tray of tools. I couldn’t even imagine what some of them did. They hit me with an IV and I went out. I felt like I was half awake here and there. Enough to know that there was also a local anesthetic at work as well. Numb. 

When I came to, Kit was there to pick me up. I was in the come down room, as I’m going to call it. When you’ve been sober as long as I have you have to really appreciate a freebie. I had a good buzz on from the anesthesia. I was waiting in that room totally relaxed and loopy. Kit came in and sat with me. Then the doctor came in to tell me what I needed to do. He gave me gauze, and told me how and what I could eat. I was barely listening. All I was thinking was this guy is a buzzkill. I hope Kit is getting all this because I’m just going to enjoy my high. 

So, now I have a lonely molar in the back of my mouth with no buddy and a hole. I guess it’s a waiting game until I get the implant. See how the graft grows. 

I was given a prescription for some pain killers. Like, the good stuff. Again, as a sober guy, a freebie is always welcome. Sadly, I was only in enough pain to take one once. Now, I have to get them out of my house. I’m okay. Seriously. 

Today I talk to Flea about being Flea and the RHCP. On Thursday I have a great talk with Guy Torry about the evolution of Phat Tuesdays and its impact on Black show business and his new doc about it. Great talks. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron

The Respite of Denial.

Live Rock, People!

I went to see Gang of Four the other night. 

I don’t think we’re past Covid but we are certainly in the ‘fuck it’ period of the pandemic. The pause between surges. The respite of denial that enables us to reconnect, even temporarily. We’ll see. 

People talk about how they will have to get reacclimated to crowds or being in an audience. After being in the mix for months, I can say with confidence, it will come right back to you. It’s what people do. People like and need to be around other people. A gathering of humans can be a beautiful thing. It can also be the worst thing ever. It was a good thing the other night. 

I am not the biggest Gang of Four fan but I do love that sound they make. When the frontman Jon King came out I was a little concerned. He looked like an old man. Then I realized that we all do. When he started singing and doing that frontman thing, he was lit up. All those movements he did when he was a young man jangling those old bones were landing. He sounded great. The band sounded great. That guitar sound is aggressive and dirty. I loved it. 

We left before the encore and before all the people and walked down Sunset and grabbed a couple slices. 

I tracked down the Keef beanies. All of you heard my obsession with the hats Keith Richards has been wearing and my need to track them down. I did a bunch of my own searching before I talked to him. Bought a few. When they arrived, they clearly weren’t the right ones. I needed the exact ones or I wouldn’t be as cool as Keith, obviously. So, I asked him directly and kept pushing. I pestered his reps. One of whom got back to me basically saying here is the brand now shut up already. 

I went to the site of the brand. It was Elder Statesmen. It’s based here in LA but I still ordered online because I didn’t realize at that moment it was here. Of course they were expensive. They are hand knit cashmere hats. Pricey. I was in too deep not to get one and had to buy two. I got the exact blue one he has, I believe. They didn’t have the yellow one but they had the style so I got one that was a different color anyway. Now I have them. I might not ever wear them but I have them. Mission accomplished. It was the same reason I bought my first guitar. Keef had a Tele, I needed a Tele. Now I have the hats and the Tele and I’m still not as cool as Keef. 

That’s how hero worship works. You think it’s the hat for a minute. 

Today I talk to Jeff Foxworthy about standup comedy. I worked one of my first paid weeks as a comic with Jeff back in the eighties. It was good to catch up. On Thursday I talk to Sam Jay about me thinking she didn’t want to talk to me and other things. Great talks!

Enjoy.

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron

Snow.

Snow, Folks. 

Snow. 

It had been a while since I had actually seen snow. I still kind of took it for granted like it was no big deal. It isn’t, really. I have seen a lot of it in my life. I just hadn’t seen it in a few years and I wanted to make sure I really took it in. I enjoyed the crisp, cold air on my face, the stinging wind, the trying not to slip in the wrong kind of shoes, the hoping my brakes don’t lock up and I lose control of the rental car. 

I knew the snow was coming. I panicked I wouldn’t be able to get home to record the intro stuff for today’s show. I’m typing this on the plane. So, if you get this, I made it. 

Let’s back up. I flew into NYC last Tuesday night. I got off the plane and rented a car and drove to New Haven. Crashed. Woke up and went to the Yale Art Gallery. Then went and ate way too much pizza with Dean Falcone and his crew at Pepe’s. Clam, White, Margarita, Sausage and another kind. Then, Italian pastry. Then, shame. Then, eating to not feel the shame. But wait…

I did a show in New Haven that first night. It was great. Many people on this run of shows hadn’t been out to do anything since the plague. They were excited, giddy even. The next morning I drove across the countryside to Troy, NY to perform at The Music Hall. That place is special. Built in the 1800s. Perfect acoustics. You can feel the age of the place but it’s still alive. I did one of the best shows of my life there. The next day I drove to Mass MOCA in North Adams and blew my mind on art for a few hours. Truly blew my mind.

The amazing thing about Mass MOCA is the exhibits are mostly installations. Artists work with the space to create art that only exists to live in that space. It’s the pure stuff. There is a lot there that seems to be fairly permanent that I had seen the last time I was there years ago. The James Turrell retrospective was elevating. 

I drove from there to Laconia, New Hampshire. It was during that drive I had the flashbacks. I had started my career as a working comic in the late '80s driving to one nighters all over the New England region. As I drove those roads they became the neural pathways that lead back to the trauma of driving alone into the unknown as a younger man and the further down the road I drove, the more I knew that the gig would be terrible or at the very least hard. It all came back to me. The panic, the fear, the anger. As I approached Laconia, I was in full spiral. I was thinking how did I come full circle? How am I driving these roads to unknown shows again? How the fuck did my agent find this place? 

It was a great show at the Colonial Theater in Laconia. Great crowd. 

The following morning I left at 6am to try to get ahead of a snow storm that I knew was coming for days. I started to worry I would be snowed in when I got to Vermont. I did get ahead but it was raining and about two hours into the drive the snow started coming down. It was beautiful. By the time I got to Burlington I was driving very slow. They let me check into the hotel early. I had breakfast with Hari Kondabolu and Mohanad Elshieky. They were working the comedy club there. The snow was coming down all day. I didn’t know if it would keep people away but it didn’t. I did an almost two-hour show at The Flynn Center. Great crowd again. 

I slept for about three hours and dropped the rental off and got the 6am flight to Chicago. Then onto LA. 

Great trip. I feel disgusting. 

Today I’m posting a new short conversation I had with Keith Richards AND the old long talk I had with him in 2015. Because…why not? It’s Keef. On Thursday I talk to Oscar-nominee Ariana Debose about her life and dance and West Side Story. Great talks. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron 

The Loud Quiet.

Watching the water, People. 

This may be a journal entry. 

I drove up to San Luis Obispo with my opener, Esther Povitsky. There’s a point where the water, the Pacific Ocean, just appears on the left side of the road driving north. It’s immediately relieving. The expanse, the space. Something gives in the mind. It’s natural. It's necessary. 

I have a hard time keeping my eyes on the road. I just want to look at the horizon line between water and sky. 

I don’t think anyone looks at the ocean and says, ‘This is bullshit.’

As I write this I’m sitting in a balcony room facing the ocean. I stood out there for a few minutes. It may be the only way to check in with who you are. Solitary, with the sound of the breaking waves. The loud quiet. It’s a good alone. Spread the mind out, way out, beyond all of the yous. 

As futility settles on the world spinning into a time without us and chaos and disaster become inevitable seemingly on all levels, the only peace attainable is peace of mind. If you have it, even for a few minutes, you may see a way out. A way to help. A way to a clarity of perception that may encourage acceptance without fear. Coming from that place is where purpose lives. 

All that said, wrestling with myself on stage, which is what I do, is my current purpose, I guess. I did a show at Largo the other night that may have been the best show of my life in terms of freedom of mind and magical connections in the moment. The Great Nothing delivering the line to a fearless mind in a split second where a laugh can save a life or a moment. Good time. 

The show last night in San Luis Obispo was intense. There was a huge platform stage that I assume was set up for Taj Mahal the following night. The Fremont Theater is an old movie theater. Wide and set up as such. The laughs were tinny and loud. I felt myself shredding apart in moments. I hadn’t really eaten all day. So, my hold on myself and the audience was raw and tenuous. It felt like a lot was on the line in moments. Just a show. Nothing really on the line except what I was self-generating in my mind in relation to what I think of me.  

Today I have a kind of bouncing off the walls talk with my old friend Caroline Rhea. On Thursday, if everything goes as planned, I will talk to comic and former SNL writer Mike O'Brien.

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron

Probably Good He Quit Comedy.

People!

I made a quick trip home. Went to look at some property and also to see my father. Sadly, every time I go back I feel a little less connected. I think I may have eaten my last helping of carne adovada. It happened in San Francisco with a burrito. Now it happened with the red chile and pork. I guess I get so excited and my expectations are so high that I get let down, all the way down, to the bottom.

I’ve bottomed out.

It’s not a Mexican food thing. I just can’t have magical thinking around any food anymore. More foods will fall. It will be better for me to be realistic. Girl Scout cookies are out as well but it took like 50 of them eaten in a short time span for me to hit that wall.

I spent a lot of time with my father. He’s great for an hour and then he starts to drift. I’m glad I’m showing up for him. No matter how cynical I am, it’s really just a defense from the fact that I’m losing my father slowly and dark comedy is my way of dealing.

It’s strange what it takes to have hope in people and the world but I’m not alone in my respect for and amazement in President Zelensky of Ukraine. It takes a violent attack by an authoritarian country on a fledgling democracy to amplify the courage he's shown in the face of global fascism. The fact that it is specifically rooted in his Jewishness makes it even more moving and important. The reaction to it here in the United States has further revealed and exposed the fascist sympathizers in our own government and those who aspire to gain power within it and/or regain power.

He is a global hero and it’s a real display of bravery. It's inspiring. It’s probably good he quit comedy.

Today I talk to the very charming and ever-present Sam Elliott about the '70s through now and a bit before. On Thursday I have a powerful, raw talk with Mira Sorvino about what she’s been through and where she is now. Great talks.

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Ghost Portal.

The Bay Area, People!

I always forget that San Francisco kind of gives me the creeps. Not the people or even the city per se. There’s just a vibe up there, maaaan. An electric darkness.

Before I try to figure that out, I do want to say that the shows were great. The show at the Uptown Theater in Napa was a blast. It’s a great theater. I’m not sure what is going on up there in Napa but I don’t think it’s much. Not in a bad way. I assume that’s why people live there.

I went into a thrift shop and they had records. I picked a few out and took them up to the counter. One didn’t have a price tag. So, one of the women that owned the place had to track down the woman who was in charge of the records. It looked like it might take a while to figure out if the Mary McCaslin record I wanted was 16 dollars or around ten which is what I thought it should be. At some point it didn’t look like they were going to track the record lady down so they reached out to her boyfriend and told him to find her. A lot of action around a ten dollar record. The woman behind the counter asked if I would be around tomorrow. I said, ‘No.’ I didn’t care about the record that much. I wasn’t going to stay the night. I guess that is sort of the pace up there.

They eventually tracked the record lady down. It was eight bucks. I knew it. A bargain. And I didn’t have to get a hotel room.

I hadn’t been in San Francisco in a long time. I lived there years ago. I think I may not realize the effect of what I went through there on my psyche in terms of the residual effect when I visit. I ran to SF. I was running away from drugs and failure in NYC. I was a mess. I went to SF to throw myself down at the mercy of a woman. She took me back and I wrestled with drugs and career stuff for two years in the weirdness of SF. Rough time.

SF is a chaotic, nebulous place built on a spiritual fault line. A crack that releases the ghosts that occupied the city at different times during its history. They keep the weirdness going. The dark crackling hum that has run through the time of the psychedelic warriors and the tech nerds and sexual revolutionaries and dock weirdos and the prospectors and witches. They’re always kind of around.

All of that triggers my own instability from the time I was there. Lost. At the mercy of the ghost frequency. Of course this is just a theory.

I tried to go back in time with my buddy Jack. We went and got a forearm-sized burrito in the Mission. Like the old days. Half way through it I knew it would be the last burrito I would ever eat in my lifetime. Like a bad night with tequila. I was done.

Kevin Christy opened for me up there. He’s a comic and painter. He knows a lot about art. I’m no slouch but he got me to go to SFMOMA and introduced me to the work of Tauba Auerbach. It was a huge survey show. A lot of stuff. A lot of mediums. Genius. Truly. Brain bending. The good waves at the edge of the ghost portal. Wrangling the deep stuff.

Down in the Mission I went and stood in front of my old apartment. Thought about the chaotic mad guy that lived there once. Me. Trying to figure out how to be who he was. I closed the circle looking up at the bay window I sat and looked out of.

Today I talk to Andy Garcia. Good guy, great actor. On Thursday I talk to W. Kamau Bell about his new doc We Need to Talk About Cosby. Great talks.

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Make It Pretty.

Been a little loopy, Folks. 

I was in NYC last week doing some promotional stuff for The Bad Guys. There was a lot of shooting for television spots in Korea, China, Israel, Mexico, Australia and more. It was a crazy couple of days. Each one feeling like a week. I was in NYC for two days and I felt like I had spent a month there. 

I did the things. I ate the pizza. I saw a friend or two. I watched a film at Film Forum. It was a Japanese film called Drive My Car. It was some existentially and emotionally weighty business. A long meditation on grief with an interesting story. Surprising. Sad. 

I liked being in NYC because for me it always seems like an amazing testament to democracy and what people and this country can be when there is tolerance and care. So many people being human out in the streets. 

I love the Crosby Street Hotel, which is where I stayed. I was in a fancy suite but it was so tastefully decorated it may have changed my life. It made me realize the aesthetic power of creating an appealing environment. I think I take that kind of stuff for granted sometimes or I don’t try to manifest it enough in my own life. This is it. The life. Make it pretty. 

I did my first couple of longform shows since the NYC Comedy Festival. I was nervous and loopy from exhaustion. I flew back late on Friday from NYC. Drank airplane coffee, watched two movies (The French Dispatch, Spencer), got home, couldn’t sleep. Excited cats and lit up brain wouldn’t let me. Got up and drove to San Diego with Esther Povitsky, who opened for me. 

The shows were great. It felt good to be back in it. There was a curfew at the venue which forced me to do tight hours. It was good exercise. It’s all I really need to do. I should start forcing myself to pull back as I begin to put together a set for a special. 

I have shows in Napa and San Francisco coming up this weekend. Heads up SF people, the Palace of Fine Arts requires you have a booster as well as two shots to get in. I just found this out. So, I’m telling you. 

Today I have a very engaging and funny talk with Ana Gasteyer about SNL, theater, New Mexico and food to name a few things. On Thursday I talk to Roy Wood, Jr. I’m new to his comedy. He’s the real deal. Great material. Great guy. Great talks!

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron

Samster.

I think I’m good, Folks!

I have gotten two negative PCR tests in the last week. I have been exercising at full tilt. I don’t feel ‘great’ but I’m not sure I’ve ever felt great. I really can’t differentiate between how I always feel and feeling symptomatic of a low-grade everything. Something will get all of us. I might as well always think I have it. 

Sammy aka Smushy aka Schmoolie aka Sammy the Red aka Samster turned one year old on the 4th. He’s turning into a very sweet but sort of dumb cat. He’s kind of a doofus. He's a great guy though. I think he might be a little chunky but I won’t project my food issues onto the cat. If he’s comfortable being chubby I’ll let him. As soon as he starts wheezing or having a hard time walking I’ll step in. 

Buster is well. They are the best of pals. A little gay, I think. Again, whatever makes them happy. I’m not here to judge. 

An odd thing happened today. One of the many records I bought in the last week is a Turkish psych record. It’s a reissue by a guy called Erkin Koray. The album is called Elektronnik Türküler. It was released in 1974. I knew nothing about the record. I cannot understand what is being sung about. I put it on. I had my windows open and I was playing it loud. I all of a sudden realized that it might upset my neighbors. Not because it was loud but because I live in an Armenian neighborhood. I’m not sure they would appreciate Turkish music. I assume it could be very upsetting. I can’t explain to them the nuances of psychedelic music and using the ideas of it to reinvent traditional Turkish melodies. I’m paraphrasing from the sticker on the record. It would be an awkward conversation. 

I’m not sure whether I shut the windows out of fear or respect. I’m going with mostly fear. 

Today I talk to my fictional father Judd Hirsch about acting, Taxi, Redford and the challenge of playing my father among other things. On Thursday I talk to comedian Chris Spencer. We do the comedians talking thing. Great talks. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron

mRNA Troops.

Getting through, Folks!

I’m better. I think. 

The test was very, very close to clean on Saturday. I’ll do one today. There was just a smidgen of a hint of a second line. My load is way down and almost out. 

It was a little scary, I have to be honest. With everything we know and don’t know about this thing I just couldn’t relax with it. I couldn’t hang loose with the Covid. I couldn’t enjoy my sick days. I couldn’t just cozy up with the bug in me. 

There was always a period of panic. Panic that I would be the one to defy all the numbers. The one guy with a booster, in good health, that gets it real bad. I’m sure there are actual cases of that. Of course my inverted narcissistic tendency made me believe I would win the unlucky lottery. I am convinced I’m not that guy now. 

I’m just one of those people that if I get sick with a passing bug I’m in for the whole ride, generally. I’ve never been one to have a cold for a couple of days. Is anyone really? If I get sick, I’m sick for the maximum. 

There’s an arc to most sickness. This Covid thing just kind of stayed steady and annoying. Like I told you before: I had no fever, no aches, no dizziness (though maybe a little later), no lack of oxygen. My fatigue was minimal. I did have some trouble getting a deep breath in. That was the scariest thing to me. 

My problem is, when I get tweaked or anxious or panicky, my chest gets tight. So that was feeding the tightness from the sickness, I believe. I spun out a couple of times. All my mental compartments collapsed and I stared the big empty in the face. It even opened its mouth once. Did some self pity texting and some crying wolf and reeled it in. Spiral. Thanks, friends I text. 

I did the quarantine. The bug didn’t really totally pass through me for 12 days after I tested. Thirteen days after I still felt a little shitty. I don’t feel great now. I think the war within on a cellular level is more profound than this strain lets on. Clearly, my body has been through something, even if I wasn’t  bed ridden or at death’s door. Thanks to the vaccine, I believe. 

Many people have said that this virus feels alien, different, inside them. I acknowledge that. I felt that. I think though, what is really different, is this new type of vaccine and how it works. I can’t separate the two. I will attribute the weirdness to the vaccine. I’ve had coronaviruses in me before but never engaged mRNA troops. I have no idea what this may have been like without them. Not good, I’m pretty sure. 

I had the honor to have a pretty wonderful conversation with Tony Kushner about all of his work and focusing a bit on his adaptation of West Side Story for the new Spielberg film. Today I will share that with you. Exciting stuff. On Thursday I talk to Sam Richardson about where he comes from comedically, Ghana, Veep, I Think You Should Leave and The Afterparty. Great talks. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron

Covid.

The Covid, People.

I got Covid, finally. 

I tested positive last Tuesday. I was feeling it Monday. I tested negative Monday morning. I felt worse throughout the day. I tested again on Tuesday and bam, two lines. 

I’ve been dreading those two lines for as long as they’ve had these tests. Then there they were. I know so many people who have had it or have it now that I didn’t lose my mind. I did feel like I failed somehow. I felt defeated. Shame. Which is ridiculous but my mind is always looking for that opportunity.

I have a pretty good idea where I may have gotten it. There are two possibilities in my head. It really doesn’t matter though anymore. Does it? This is the world. I chose to be out in the world as safely as possible and still do my work. I don’t have a huge social life but I was doing comedy as much as possible. I knew there was a risk. I took it. I got the bug. Happens. 

It’s been pretty mild really. I haven’t had a fever or aches or intense fatigue. I’ve been very congested, sneezy and a little tired. My chest has been tight on and off but I get that anyway, from panic.  

The quarantine has me spiraling at different points. It’s just a lot of time by myself with no exercise. I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain just starts going through all of the most frightening, uncomfortable events of my life. A full personal trauma immersive experience in images. I don’t know why my brain does that. I also felt very alone. It’s a choice. Though when you’re scared, you kind of want to make someone who loves you as scared as you are for comfort. 

My biggest fear, other than dying and chronic issues, is that the virus will linger and I won’t be able to pull a negative test before my gigs this week. We’ll see. I’ll test today and tomorrow. I just don’t want to let people down. I guess this is the world we live in now. I won’t be canceling because I have a movie shoot or some other excuse. Just the new Covid. 

I’ve done a lot of stuff during my quarantine: I put together an Oklahoma Joe’s Bronco Drum Smoker, I watched the new West Side Story and the old one, I finished Dana Stevens’ book Camera Man: Buster Keaton, The Dawn of Cinema, and the Invention of the 21st Century, watched Atom Egoyan’s Guest of Honor, began reading Feline Philosophy: Cats and the Meaning of Life, by John Gray, worked on my script with Sam Lipsyte, cooked a bunch of stuff, learned things, almost lost my mind a bit. 

Today I talk to Peter Dinklage about the Peter Dinklage thing. On Thursday I talk to Dana Stevens mostly about her Buster Keaton book. Great talks. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron

Bob.

Funerals, People.

We’re all going to have one. I don’t think any of them will be as truly loving and sad as Bob Saget’s. So many people loved this guy. It was overwhelming.

I have not been to an actual funeral in a long time. I always seem to find a reason I can’t go. Whether it’s geographic or I’m working, I just don’t go. For some reason I felt like I had to go to Bob’s. I need to understand that this is going to start happening more. There is a reason funerals happen. It’s to understand what is going to happen, normalize it, be there for your grief and the grief of others and honor a person’s life.

The service was moving and funny and sad. One of the things that many people said was that Bob really believes that laughing could and does bring people together. That is why he wanted to tour. To bring people together in laughter. It really made me think about my own work. Am I trying to bring people together? Is that what my comedy is? Sadly, no. I don’t think what I am doing is meant to bring people together, really. Maybe it will. I do appreciate that intention and will keep it in mind. I just think I’m doing something else. I might need to do it more Bob’s way. It takes more heart to do that. I’m a little guarded.

The Rabbi had a couple of good bits. Bob’s family was amazing. There were a lot of comics there. It really did what it was supposed to do. It made me realize Bob is dead, he was a great guy, it’s sad and he is now in the ground in a pine box.

That’s the thing that seems to be haunting me. I drive by that cemetery all the time. I see it from my hike. I think about Bob. I think about him being home in his bed at his house a week or so ago, waking up, living his life. Now, he’s there. In the ground. In a box.

It’s so upsetting. That is how it ends though for most of us. One of the ways.

I’m going to miss knowing he is alive in the world and it was always great to see him when I did.

Today I talk to Nicole Byer about stuff. She’s very funny. On Thursday I talk to John Mellencamp. He’s kind of funny. Great talks.

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Cat Party.

Cats, People.

It was a rough week but I think we’re coming out of it. I’m not speaking about the world or the country because I’m not sure we’re coming out of whatever the fuck is unraveling at all levels. Here at my house though, some calm and balance has been restored, cat-wise. Not necessarily in my inner life but the cats are okay. 

After giving Buster an appetite stimulant, to which he responded horrendously, he ate a bit more that day. I was really dreading having to give it to him again. Along with the subcutaneous fluids it was just looking like a prolonged nightmare of not knowing what was wrong and Buster possibly not surviving. He didn’t really eat for six days. 

I know people say that cats can go a week or two without eating, but as someone pointed out to me, that’s if there is no food. If they're not eating and there’s food, there’s something wrong and it is not a ‘survival’ situation per se. It was killing me. It was so sad that this cat wasn’t being himself and that his pal, Sammy the Smush, couldn’t get him to play or engage. The whole thing was heartbreaking. This is my small life. 

The day after the appetite stimulant I woke up dreading the day, hyper obsessed with the cat, which doesn’t help them relax. I was sitting on the bed, putting my socks on and Buster was looking at me and my eyes welled up and I said, ‘Are you going to live, buddy? I can’t take this shit.’

That day he ate on his own. No medicine. I did give him fluids but he was on the mend, I was hoping. 

The next day he was eating everything. Lots of food. I actually woke up the following day to find that he had broken into the snack cabinet. It must’ve been open a crack and somehow he got up on the shelf which is at my eye level. He pulled down two bags of snacks and apparently ripped into them and had a fucking cat party. I assume Sammy was involved but not a perpetrator. He was most likely just in for the booty. 

I couldn’t really get mad because HE WAS EATING, voraciously. I did figure out a way to lock the cabinet with a rubber band so no more parties until he figures out how to open it which would mean he is an alien genius. It’ll happen because of course he’s an alien genius. 

Buster is totally back. I am relieved. 

Today I talk to Javier Bardem about being Desi Arnaz and all the other things. On Thursday I talk to Drew Michael about his new comedy special. Good talks!

Enjoy! 

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron

Another One.

Here comes another one, People.

That’s my version of Happy New Year.

Happy New Year sounds preemptively ironic under current conditions.

I watched The Asphalt Jungle last night. Sterling Hayden as the hooligan Dix Handley bleeding, almost stumbling, barely standing into the horse pasture of his family’s farm at the end is how it feels heading into this new year. He collapses and dies surrounded by colts sniffing at him. Sterling Hayden at the end of a few movies is sort of what it feels like right now. An electric hopelessness, an aggravated surrender, depletion. The end of Kubrick’s The Killing is another great Hayden resignation. As is Altman’s The Long Goodbye. Into the ocean in that one, I believe. I guess The Godfather could also work. He was shot in the head point blank and had a gagging, knowing moment before plowing face down into his food. All of these work. Happy New Year.

Heading into my New Year I’ve had nothing but panic and aggravation. Both my cats started vomiting on the Wednesday before New Year's. It always happens. Cats get fucked up right before long holiday weekends or right before you have to travel. I have no idea what got them sick. I can’t figure it out. Yes, cats vomit. These were spectacular, violent displays. Then not eating and more puking. I took Buster to the vet because he has a bum kidney and I thought that might be it. I thought Sammy might just be freaking out.

Turns out Buster's kidney, blood, piss, liver were all good. No blockages. He has pancreatitis though. Vague in its causes, perhaps a symptom. Who the fuck knows? The first vet told me he might need to be hospitalized. He gave me some anti-nausea meds and told me to bring him back in if he keeps puking. He did. Of course. The next morning I freaked and realized if he’s not eating or drinking I may need to give him subcutaneous fluids. I went back to the vet with Buster. I saw another vet. A nicer vet. A woman. She said fluids would be a good idea. I was freaking out about him not eating. She said don’t worry about it. Don’t put food out for another night and give him the digestive medicine food. I cried in the vet's office on New Year’s Eve day. I can’t take all this cat drama anymore.

He did not eat the medicine food. More panic. I reached out to my old vet, who was calming. Meanwhile Sammy doesn’t know Buster for days. Something that happens when you bring a cat home from the vet. The cats at home don’t know him anymore. I don’t know why. All this is adding to Buster’s stress. I get the fluids in him with Kit on New Year’s Day. Did it myself yesterday. I am stressed and exhausted. Neither cat is 100 percent. Buster is barely eating. It’s a fucking nightmare. Happy New Year.

I do have a lot to be grateful for as we enter this new hell. I’ll make a list.

Today I talk to the legendary Smothers Brothers. What an honor. I traveled up to Sonoma and hijacked a public radio studio to do it. On Thursday I talk to David Manheim about his drug-addled journey to creating the Dopey podcast. Great talks!

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron