Dispatches from the Head

I guess I could use the cat box.



Here we go-

Big week. Three shows.

I really wanted to relax this weekend but my house decided to fall apart. When you have an old house the only way you really learn about what is holding it together or how to fix anything is for something to break. A day doesn’t go by where I don’t fantasize about plowing the entire house down and building some kind of kit house in its place. Does Ikea make houses? I think I could handle putting that together. I’d only need an Allen wrench and maybe a hammer and screwdriver. If they don’t they should get on it.

I was getting ready to go out on Saturday night with my friend Chris. He was coming over. I was waiting, just listening to my new tubes and vinyl. I got up to go to the bathroom and there was a puddle beneath the toilet. It wasn’t sewage so that was good but something was leaking. I wasn’t dealing with a geyser of poo or some seeping shit disaster. Anything toilet related needs immediate attention, especially if you only have one bathroom. Unless you want to be going out in the yard you have to get someone on it. You don’t want to be that guy. Pissing of the deck is one thing. Shitting in the garden is an entirely different thing. I guess I could use the cat box. Maybe then they’d know who’s in charge.

I called a plumber and apparently the fixture on top of the cast iron pipe that fixes the toilet to the pipe was nothing but rust crumbs. So, the toilet, which I always knew was wobbly was just luckily positioned over the hole most of the time and the screws that held it down we screwed into nothing. Finally what little of the seal was left disappeared and flushed water was leaking out the bottom. Cut to all day Sunday and 800 bucks later my toilet is now locked and sealed onto that pipe and look at what I learned. I knew none of what I wrote before.

The plumber also scoped my old ceramic pipes that run down to the sewer and I am happy to report there were only a few roots creeping in. It reminded me to go to the doctor. I may need to get my arteries scoped to see if there are any roots creeping in or grease build up.

This week we wave Tim Heidecker from Tim and Eric on the show Monday. On Wednesday we have a hilarious live WTF from The Trepany House featuring Dave Hill, Moby, Aries Spears, Jake Fogelnest, TJ Miller, Mike Bobbitt and Jim Earl. On Friday I talk to the man that comedy raised, Pauly Shore.

No Boomie. Boomie lives!



Love,
Maron


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