Doing better, People-
I have no gigs to report. If you are in Los Angeles I do shows around here pretty often. They are week to week and I try to get them out there on Twitter. I’ll keep you in the loop on any big shows I have coming up. I’m locked here in LA for the duration of ‘Maron’ production. I plan to do a tour in spring.
Things are quiet here at home. Very quiet. It’s weird to be alone. It’s been a long time since I have. I don’t remember the last time I was really alone. It’s very odd and sad. I find that the hardest thing for me to do outside of everything here at the house is cook my own food. There is something too lonely about cooking for myself. It also made me realize just how much of what I did in my life was a reaction to her being here. Good things and bad things. I guess that’s what being in a relationship is. Being in a constant state of reaction. Connected. Well, I am definitely disconnected. It is sad and strange. I have a lot of room in my mind and my heart is a little empty and heavy.
Over the weekend I decided to clean out my house. Everything that I haven’t used or looked at in over a year is going. It’s time. I want to have as little in my house as possible. If I need to run, I need most of it to fit in my car. Things just stack up. I use two sets of sheets. I had like 40. It was like a history of failed relationships in fabric. That would be what the art installation would be called if I did that kind of thing. I got rid of the linens, books, clothes, wires and appliances. I gave away a motorcycle jacket to a guy who rides motorcycle. I wasn’t getting any use out of it and I guess I don’t want to try to look like a guy who rides motorcycles anymore. I haven’t worn it in 20 years.
I am doing better in general. Again, thanks for all the nice emails of support. I appreciate them. I’ve also been leaning on a small group of pals almost constantly. That’s what pals are for—to lean on when you need to lean. I know when I will be getting through this. I’ve been through something similar before. Eventually I will get tired of hearing myself talk about about it to other people and decide that they are as tired as me and I will slowly stop.
On the show this week: Moon Zappa and Jim Breuer. Moon and I go way back. I think at some point in my life I was madly in love with her. In the late eighties we were friends. She’s a pip. Love talking to her. On Thursday Jim Breuer is on the show. I had judged Jim. I thought he was something that I find he clearly isn’t—a douchebag. He’s an earnest dude with a great story. Jim even provides a piece to the Lorne Michaels tale that I never thought I would hear. It took balls to tell me what he told me but I am glad he did.
Doing better, People-