Are you Satan?

Okay, people-

Only a few more gigs away before I have to lock down and only focus on the production of the TV show. I will be in San Francisco for one night at Cobb's Comedy Club with Arj Barker this Wednesday, August 8. It’s a benefit for the SF ACC animal shelter. Do it for the kitties. I will be at Wiseguys in Salt Lake City on Sat. August 11th for two shows. Come out Mormons and non-Mormons. It will be good. I like SLC. It’s weird there. On the 17th and 18th of August I will be at The Blue Ridge Comedy Festival in Victoria, BC if you are up that way.

Getting ready to do my last show in Chicago as I write this. I have to say that the Mayne Stage Theater is probably one of the best venues in the country for comedy. Either that or I am just doing very good comedy right now. I am wary to give myself all the credit but I have been having the best shows of my life here. I am really loving this city as well.

I had a weird experience here that was a bit jarring. I did the Paper Machete show at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge. The venue has a bad history with comics. Al Capone invested in the club through one of his henchman specifically to get the comic singer Joe E. Lewis to perform there exclusively. When Lewis balked they slit his throat. He recovered and performed at the venue but his voice was a bit rough after the “incident.” The ghosts of that era and that action pervade the place and no number of precious nerds gathered for a variety show is going to diminish that energy. It enters people.

I sat at a table next to some comics I was talking to. A very intense, gaunt, frightening woman with glasses and stringy, oily hair, wearing a sun dress that hung off her like it would a hanger, rushed up to the table and said, “This is my table. I reserved this table.”

“Okay, when you are ready to sit down I’ll move.” I said.

“I may not sit here but I have people sitting here.” She said.

“Fine. When they come, I will move.” She stormed off.

I knew right away the kind of person she was. A regular at the show who somehow thinks she is running the room. A control freak hanger-on who is tolerated. That was my take. I don’t know for sure. She had no idea who I was and that I was on the show but even when she found out I could tell she was hung up on what she perceived as my defiance of her system, her being. She exuded the horrible, angry lack of boundaries of a petulant child who didn’t get her way. Only she was a middle-aged woman. Not attractive.

Katie Rich went on before me and she was hilarious. Moments before I was to go on the freak lady came up to me and literally put her face right up to mine and said, “You think you can follow that?” She ripped a breaking angry smile.

“Are you fucking Satan?” I asked like a punch.

“Yes, I am,” she said and stormed off in a huff of self-importance.

Then, as they were introducing me, she came bounding back and stood right beside me and started saying something and I turned and said, “Get the fuck away from me.”

I have not felt so psychically violated in a long time, especially by a stranger. I was surprised at how angry and defensive I got in that moment. I have been very open lately and very available as a person and performer. Because of that I became a payback portal for whatever broke that woman.

I went up and had a great set. I did it for Joe E. Lewis.

On the show this week we have the sardonic and charming Ryan Stout on Monday and the odd and sweet Brett Gelman on Thursday. Enjoy.