Progress? Who Knows?

Hello, Brothers and Sisters.
 
That’s so weird-looking written down. I imagine there are churches that start their emails like that. 
 
I just got back from Salt Lake City. I love it. 
 
I know I always say that when I get back. I can’t really put my finger on why I love it. You wouldn’t think that would be one of the places where I have a lot of fans but I sold out four shows. I always do there. That’s about 1200 tickets. It’s always been one of the handful of cities where I work out my new stuff. 
 
The assumption with some of these cities is that I really couldn’t do a theatre there or they only have a huge theatre or I can swing back through in six months with the set worked out. 
 
Salt Lake is a once a year thing for me generally and it’s always productive. I acknowledge the weirdness. Always. I know that the place is a kind of electric sterile but it’s not bleak. I know that it's basically a functioning theocracy. I know Mormonism is an odd, truly American religion. When we landed at the airport the missionaries were returning. There were hundreds of people with signs welcoming them back. The women seem to be in updated pioneer wear. Which I found out to be true. The ladies are allowed to wear schmattas with flowers now. Progress? Who knows?
 
The fact is, the people in Salt Lake are always nice, seemingly decent, caring people. Actively. I think the fact that drinking does not seem to be a huge part of the culture. I mean, I don’t know how many Mormons come to my shows but I’m sure there are many. The audiences are just great. They listen. I trust them. 
 
So did Howard Hughes and the mob. For very different reasons than the ones I have. 
 
I think that’s it though. The trust. I’m working on material that’s kind of deep and a bit risky for me emotionally. So, SLC was the perfect place to do it. Again, I trusted them. I knew they would stay with it, not be judgmental and I could see if I could get through to the laugh and let it sit. 
 
I appreciate the SLC audiences for that. Look, I know that as a state and a city it’s not perfect. It may even be dangerously weird and with the same problems all cities have. They’ve always been good for me. I’m glad it was the first club stop with this new set. 
 
Today I talk to the amazing Jessica Chastain. Just being in her presence was a bit intense for me. On Thursday I talk to comedian Nimesh Patel. Great week. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

The Only Place for Me.

Manhattan, Friends.
 
I just had the best trip to NYC I’ve had in years. I’m trying to figure out why. Let’s break it down. 
 
There was absolutely no reason for me to go other than I wanted to go. That was probably the biggest difference from most of my trips. I just needed to be in a city, THE city, the best city, really. I already knew that my spirit is fueled by Manhattan and I need to fill up a few times a year. That happened, but there was still something different about this trip. 
 
I realized that I do love my house in LA. I don’t even mind LA right now because there’s water and the weather hasn’t really been as apocalyptic as elsewhere. I can spend all day at my house just doing shit. There’s always shit to do. I distract myself by doing little shit. It’s not a complete waste of time because most of it needs to be done. A lot of it I do to counter the anxious business of my brain. The problem is, I am still alone doing it most of the time. I don’t feel part of something. Some massive, organic, multi-faceted beast that I can become part of and lose myself in. That beast is NYC.
 
I found that it has a Ritalin effect on me. My brain interfaces and is dwarfed and appropriated by the city. I level off. I relax by being part of it, engaged. 
 
I realized this trip that if what I am working toward is spending part of my life, what’s left of it, enjoying it by being thoroughly engaged in living it, body and spirit, NYC is the only place for me. 
 
Aside from being one with the city in a general way, there are also people all over I can engage with. Friends, strangers, performers, artists, weirdos, tradesmen, and on and on into some Whitmanesque list. 
 
I just came here wide open and I spent many hours talking with friends, seeing art, doing comedy, eating. All without making plans ahead of time. It’s a short trip everywhere and the journey is engaging. I can be spontaneous about engaging with the most interesting people I know and seeing the best of what art and life is about. 
 
I don’t want to live in the fucking country. I don’t need to be in the woods. New York City is a big part of me. Always has been. I should just figure out how to be here more, as much as possible, as I get older. Enjoy my life. 
 
Today I have an amazing conversation with Alex Winter about his new doc The YouTube Effect,  along with his other docs and his life. Thursday I talk to Adam Conover about his career and about his work on the negotiating team for the WGA. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

Big Nothing.

Chores, People.
 
I’ve been self-employed most of my life. It’s a blessing, I guess. There were years where I made no money and self-employment felt a lot like doing nothing but with a very active brain. Actively telling me I’m doing nothing but sometimes writing something down trying to make sense of the world and myself. Myself outside of doing nothing is very active mentally. 
 
Lately, perhaps because I own a house, doing nothing is actually very busy. I guess I need to redefine nothing. That’s a life’s journey. Food shopping, cooking, laundry, refilling bird feeders, fixing a gate, playing records, playing guitar, watching old movies, watching old comedy, reading news, reading not news, sex, sleep, watching reels, making and drinking coffee, etc. These aren’t nothing. These are a full-time job. All of these take up space in my brain while some other part of my brain is crunching the soul numbers and working existential equations. That sentence would be an example of that work. 
 
Listening to Blue Mitchell right now while wondering if my cat’s kidneys are failing while dreading tomorrow. Spinning the plates. A lot going on in this big nothing. It’s the work. 
 
I think there’s a rat in my basement. I think that’s why the cats are acting weird. I set one trap down there and I don’t check it enough. There was one decaying down there a couple weeks ago. I think they sense when there’s one around. Or maybe I’m just too focused on them. When you get too focused on the cats with some kind of concern I think they get nervous because you are and it’s a vicious cycle that only ends when you take them to the vet to hopefully be told nothing is wrong. Which is most of the time. I think that’s a good amount of a vet’s business. People freaking out about their animals which eventually freaks the animals out and the vet stops the insanity for part of their living. 
 
I saw the Barbie movie and I have big feels about it on many levels. I talk about it on today’s show but it may not be as clear as this text exchange I had with a woman I know:
 
Her: Barbie was so boring and unfunny. I don’t get it.
Me: I thought it was a masterpiece.
Me: I definitely got the feels and some laughs.
Me: Progressive Cultural Trojan Horse.
Her: Maybe I should watch it again. I think TikTok really had me expecting something different
Me: It’s brilliant.
Me: I mean, if you didn’t get it, you didn’t get it.
Me: I don’t think seeing it again will make a difference.
Her: I think it’s that it was feminism 101 and I was expecting feminism 500. But the visuals were amazing and Ryan Reynolds and Kate McKinnon gave great performances. I just wanted it to do too much.
Me: Who cares what feminism it was. It’s there and it’s thorough. Millions of young girls are going to see it. It has a lot of heart. Totally entertaining. It’s a full on entertainment product seeped in progressive politics. That’s a big lift. It’s fucking genius. I thought some of the gags and jokes were solid. Totally unique vision. Tremendous accomplishment.
Me: The way it handled men was truly inspired comedy.
Me: I was lit up the whole time. Proud of it for some reason.
 
Reading it now I see I may have mansplained Barbie a bit but I was excited. Also, Ryan Reynolds isn’t in the movie. I knew what she meant though. Gosling. 
 
I’ve been watching a lot of old Don Rickles and listening to a lot of old punk rock. It’s not nostalgia, it’s nourishment. I guess I’m creatively craving some fuck you energy. I guess I’m worried I’ve lost some of my fuck you-ness. I’ll get it back. 
 
Today I have a truly lovely chat with Melissa Villaseñor who I was concerned may not talk much. She did. On Thursday I talk to Gary Mule Deer who was at The Comedy Store when it opened and had a very interesting, long career in the showbiz racket. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

Funny People Presence.

Got out there, People!
 
I hit the picket line on Friday. I’m not sure I would’ve done it if It was entirely up to me. I tend to feel like I do my part when I talk about things on the podcast. I certainly have spoken in support of the strikes by both the unions I am a member of, SAG/AFTRA and WGA. I have explained what they are about in terms of grievances and possible resolutions. 
 
It takes much for me to get out there. Tim Heidecker texted me that he and Chelsea Peretti were going and we should get a funny people presence on the line. I reached out to some comics. We met down at the main Netflix offices, were given t-shirts and a sign and got into the line. It felt correct and righteous to be out there with the rest of my community, striking for correct compensation and representation. I clocked Tim, Eric, Chelsea, Reggie Watts, Jon Daly, Hannah Einbinder, Nick Thune, Jeff Baena and Joe Mande. There were plenty of people I knew but didn’t really know. It was a powerful turnout.
 
I don’t know why I checked but I got in over 11,000 steps. Wait, I do know. I went to the picket line instead of exercising at my regular time. I knocked out both at once. 
 
It’s always a little about me which is an understatement but flexible. 
 
I’ve been watching a lot of Mike Leigh movies. Some part of my brain is preparing. I’m hoping to have an opportunity to direct a film and I want to know and feel what I really like in terms of specific elements of direction. I’ve been watching his early films that he did with the BBC and I find them totally engaging in terms of the empathy his lens has for beautifully flawed characters. He affords the actors, and hence the characters, a profound amount of space to unfold and exist in what seems an authentic world. 
 
The fact that it takes a certain amount of courage in art to sit with the familiar flaws of people without resolution or polish or judgement is a sad state of culture. It implies tolerance with its gaze. Because of divisiveness and entitlement and viral ideologies that compromise the humanity of individuals, it's heart-swelling and essential to watch something that should be the way we all see the world and others. It's inspiring and deep. 
 
Today my old friend Jim Gaffigan talks to me for the seventh time on the show. I love talking to Jim. We catch up about his life and new special. On Thursday George Schlatter returns with some old show biz stories we didn’t get to the first time he was on. We fill in some gaps in my curiosity about Ciro’s nightclub which is now The Comedy Store. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

Solidarity.

Union Strong, Folks!
 
I am a proud dues paying member of both the WGA and SAG/AFTRA. In good years I get my insurance coverage from SAG. In really good years I get it from WGA. In bad years I scramble like everyone else. I never take my membership for granted. 
 
We are all striking. Both Unions. Solidarity. 
 
Despite what anyone thinks about Hollywood or show biz and what any of us do out here, we work for a living in a highly competitive business with very specific corporate overlords in most cases. Not everyone makes a lot of money in this racket. Struggle is the norm. In most cases there’s hardly any job security. Unions are important.
 
Obviously, the issues now are with AI and streaming services. There were concessions made years ago about back-end and residual payments. Some of those issues remain but now we're also dealing with issues of literally owning artists' identities for future use as AI representations and having machines generate actual scripts. Creepy. 
 
I really don’t work much as a writer. It was never my bread and butter. I have written on my own show and sold shows that were never made. My main union is SAG/AFTRA. 
 
The specific issues that SAG/AFTRA is negotiating around are:
 
 - Compensation, which has been eroded with the rise of streaming.
 
 - Rules that need to be updated to account for current structures for both upfront pay and residual payments.
 
 - Artificial Intelligence rules, specifically the need to protect the identities and the work of union members going forward.
 
SAG/AFTRA was not offered a fair agreement that addresses these terms. In terms of what we can do on the podcast, it’s pretty specific. 
 
While the union is on strike, we will not be booking anyone to promote anything that's the product of the major studios, broadcast television networks, streamers and other members of the AMPTP trade association.
 
The Union guidelines do say that any pre-banked press appearance that was agreed upon AND completed before the strike date of Thursday, July 13th, is permitted to air or be published. 
 
We have a few interviews that are banked from before the strike and we will still air those interviews to discuss the guest's life and work.
 
Today's interview with Cillian Murphy was recorded on Tuesday, June 27th. On Thursday I talk to an old comedian friend Michael Rowe about his career in comedy writing and he tells me some good stories.
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

Jogging Memories.

Going back again, People
 
I visited my dad this past weekend. He is hanging in. He seems even more present and engaged than the last time I was there. I’m not hanging on to hope necessarily but it is very nice that he is not worse. I got him and his wife laughing quite a bit. The jokes are still landing with him and that’s a good sign. They are usually about him. So, his wife laughs even more than him. I think she needs it more. 
 
Kit went with me which was very supportive and good. It’s not really easy for me and it can't be easy for her. To be honest I’m not sure I’ve taken in the full emotional weight of it all. Maybe I have. I don’t know. I have a level of acceptance about his condition and I don’t project into an almost guaranteed horrible future much. 
 
I feel it’s my responsibility to spend as much time as I can handle with him but I’m also enjoying it. It makes me appreciate him more and think about him and the life we’ve had more intently. 
 
When someone is losing it mentally I would imagine it’s common for most of the conversations to either be a direct or an indirect attempt to jog or refresh memories. It helps both of us. 
 
I’ve been trying to trigger memories a lot lately. Especially when I visit my hometown, Albuquerque. I almost always go by the two houses that I grew up in. I just look at them and let the memories come. This time I went by my elementary school as well. I went to the streets I walked and drove on as a child. I drove the old highway behind the mountain to appreciate what is truly beautiful about New Mexico outside of me and my memories. The timeless vibe of the mesas and piñon trees and mountains and the expanse of clouds that was the ever-present backdrop of my childhood and remains within me now, easily activated. 
 
I’ve been thinking about the past not nostalgically but almost in an attempt to track my journey to who I am now. When I go home, there’s always new fragments that find their place in the timeline. Younger bits and pieces, moments, feelings, fleeting images of my life that I can now understand with the benefit of hindsight and some acceptance. It’s like filling in the gaps and filling up my sense of self. 
 
Albuquerque is a strange, somewhat beaten city. Not unlike most cities there’s an element of tragic, rugged, desperate humanity. This also shifts my perception of the place and expands the lense on how time passing and cultural problems persisting coincides with my own aging. 
 
It was great to talk to Lukas Nelson today about his relationship with his father Willie and how loving and supportive it is and was. Recording that talk before I saw my dad humbled me a bit. I didn’t really have that feeling growing up but it seems to be happening now. 
 
I talk to comedian Sarah Tiana on Thursday. I see her almost every week but we’ve never really hung out. Not unlike most of us comics her journey to do the comedy she wants to do is unique. It was nice talking to her and Lukas. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

Mind Your Digits.

Happy 4th, Folks!
 
It's not just America's birthday this week. It's also the birthday of The Full Maron. If you didn't already know, The Full Maron is our WTF+ subscription tier that gives you ad-free access to every episode of WTF and weekly bonus episodes.
 
Now that we've been doing it for a year, there's 52 weeks of bonus episodes waiting for you in the archive. We released a collection of Full Maron bonus material on the free podcast feed last week so you can hear what we've been doing: Extra stuff from WTF interviews, Ask Marc Anything episodes, movie talk, special miniseries, standup, The Friday Show, and lots more. Plus, you get every WTF episode from the beginning, all completely ad-free.
 
If you want to sign up for The Full Maron, you can do it right now by clicking here.
 
I know it’s a tough one this year given that the nature of America has gone a bit sour. Democracy is crumbling and fascism beckons but you can still enjoy some food, friends and fire-based entertainment, right? Maybe celebrate the America you want to have. Envision it. Maybe make some of that fire-based activity some kind of magic burning ritual to rid the country of demons and monsters. We need to do everything we can. 
 
I’ll just give my yearly advice. Mind your digits. It was risky when we were younger to light that brick of Black Cats while you were holding it before you threw it in the air and scrambled for cover as lit firecrackers flew haphazardly everywhere. You’re older and slower now so light those babies on the ground. 
 
Don’t light anything anywhere that can ignite the entire state you are in. 
 
Don’t burn your meat. Watch that grill. 
 
Don’t get so wasted you die somehow or permanently destroy your relationships with friends of loved ones. 
 
Don’t fire any guns at humans. 
 
Do something nice for someone you don’t like. 
 
Today is conspiracy theory day on the show. I talk to Robert Guffey about the long history of different conspiracy theories and how many of them have been assimilated into the new fascist origin story of Qanon. I was kind of an amateur conspiracy buff when I was out of my mind back in the day. I believed a few. It took a while to get my brain back. Robert’s new book is called Operation Minndfuck: Qanon and the Cult of Donald Trump.
 
On Thursday I talk to actor and now director Joanna Gleason about her dad, Monty Hall, her acting and her new movie. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

The Art and Me.

Inspiration, People.
 
I don’t know why I keep pushing myself to create. I don’t think of it as a responsibility or anything especially disciplined other than showing up and doing what I’ve always done. It’s a habit. It’s what I do. I love it, usually. 
 
I think what is happening now is something that has always happened. I did the special, now I’m just treading water, staying in shape, playing with ideas. I’ve got a good 45 new minutes that work well. I’m enjoying it. But at some point, something deeper has to happen for me. I have to access some throughlines or emotional ideas that have some resonance and emotional risk for me. I need to get out there on ice, the tightrope, whatever you want to call it. 
 
I seem to go through a spiral of insecurity during these unique times. Generally what brings it on is watching the work of people I respect. Not comics. I’ve been watching movies, films. Some I’ve seen, some I haven’t. I can’t keep up with the present but I certainly can’t keep up with the past. 
 
The point is, I generally don’t see myself as an artist. The odd thing about standup is that it's a base endeavor. In its purest form it’s just someone telling jokes and getting laughs. That is literally all that’s required. Even when I put a special out in the world, people generally watch the special once and then years later for whatever reason may watch it again to see if it still makes them laugh. 
 
That’s the half of it. I know what I do is a bit different and I generally feel like I’ve pulled something out of myself and molded it into something that does the job and honors the expectations of it but transcends it as well. I’m aware of that. 
 
At times like these, I just hit a wall and doubt the whole endeavor. So I watched a couple of Wim Wenders movies and a Todd Haynes movie. All movies that I have seen when I was younger. I realized watching them that it wasn’t nostalgia. It was me upgrading my brain. Because they were real art. I needed to re-engage with them so we would both see where we were at. The Art and me. I’ve changed, it’s changed. We grow together. I see myself differently each time I engage with it. 
 
That’s what art can do. 
 
Then, I beat the shit out of myself for a bit. 
 
It ultimately made me accept, in the moment, that standup is the craft I have chosen or that chose me. I’m not a filmmaker or a painter or even a writer. I’m a comic. This all made me push myself into a place of beginning to take the risks on stage I needed to in order to start doing the work that is important to me to do. That is all I know. I don’t know if it’s art, but it’s what I do. 
 
Today I check back in with comedian Kyle Kinane after a lot of years. It was great seeing him and catching up. On Thursday I talk to a great character actor, Clifton Collins Jr. Good week. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

Not All in My Head.

Okay, People-
 
I guess I’m okay. How are you?
 
My brain has been a bit overactive lately which isn’t always a great thing. I’ve had a lot of time to think and integrate what is coming at me and try not to read too much into it. 
 
I’ve begun reading a new book by Naomi Klein called Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World. It’s about her personal experience of being melded with someone else (Naomi Wolf) in the public discourse primarily through social media platforms. The book deals with the struggles of self both public and private, in a world with personal brands, AI, social media and the impact that has on politics, culture, progress and autonomy. I just started it but it's working my brain. It won’t be out until September. 
 
I deal with the idea of the ‘double’ all the time. There are always fake accounts on IG claiming to be me popping up and trying to grift my fans. There’s who I am on the podcast, in standup, on film, in life. There’s what other people think of me and what they think I am. There’s my own sense of self and memory. There’s AI which I have, up to this point, avoided. I’m sure it will become unavoidable at some point. There is also the desire to get out and save myself. To turn it all off and stop engaging at all to see what I am left with and try to be at peace. 
 
Is that bailing?
 
I’ve always been on a conscious journey to self-actualize and be in the world with myself and have a place in the world and live with who I am and create from that place. To be grounded. Every day feels like there’s an assault on that foundation. At least in my head. 
 
Life would have been easier if someone had enabled my self-esteem as a child but that ship has sailed. 
 
After reading a bit of the book I realize it may not all be in my head. I never saw myself as a brand or saw what I do as content but that’s how it sits in the hyperreality that we’ve all grown to accept as most of reality. That hyperreality dictates a large portion of who public people are and it can get away from you. I limit my engagement with it. 
 
On today’s podcast I talk to Sir Ben Kingsley. On Thursday I bring back Tom Dreesen to tell me some of the old mob stories he has from his days opening for Sinatra. He was telling them to me in the parking lot of The Comedy Store and I thought they were great. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

Wandering the Halls.

Doing the work, Folks.
 
I seem to be back at it. I guess I never really stopped. I just don’t think I fully comprehend the life I live. What I do. How I do it. It always surprises me, though I don’t think my process changes that much. 
 
I seem to do comedy most nights of my life. I just do it. It is what I do. Has been for years. 
 
I had a moment the other night when I was at The Comedy Store and realized I had been wandering the halls of that place since I was 22 years old. There were years in between when I didn’t live out here or wasn’t working there that much but the truth is The Comedy Store wired my brain almost 40 years ago. 
 
I can obviously see that I am aging and I am an old man but some part of me has always lived there and still does. I did three sets there on Friday. One in each of the rooms. I did the show run by the door people. I was the special guest but I was a door guy in 1987. I started in that room. The Belly Room. 
 
It just gets me thinking sometimes. Do I do this because I love it and it is my primary form of creative expression? Do I do it because I feel like it’s my job, my duty? Do I do it because I just don’t know what else to do with myself and it’s a compulsive activity? Do I do it because it’s how I feel alive and engaged?
 
All of the above. 
 
The bigger question is: Do I know how to not do it? I do not know how to not do it. It’s like eating or exercising. I have to do it. 
 
I want to know how to not do it but it's who I am. I wonder sometimes if I have a life outside of the work. I am not sure I do. 
 
I am having a good time working on jokes and stories. I did an hour and a half at Largo the other night, then I did it again at Dynasty Typewriter. It was all pretty much new stuff. Same me, new stuff. I love the exploration and discovery of improvising on stage. 
 
I do need to balance my life out a bit. It’s all work that I love and the rest of the time it’s cooking, organizing, listening to music, playing music, shopping, writing, watching, thinking…hey, wait, I guess I do have balance. I guess I am doing other stuff. It all blends together and is what I am made of. 
 
I talk for a living. I have to feed the engine.
 
Today I talk to Ramy Youssef about his show Ramy and his experience as a first-generation American-Muslim. Loved it. Thursday, I talk to Felicia Michaels, a comic who was at The Comedy Store when I was a door guy and she’s back there now. Some back-in-the-day talk with her. Great. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

Interspecies Affection.

Wired, People-
 
Man, I have got to turn my brain off or stop doing everything at full intensity. I lack the ability to compartmentalize properly. Everything just vibrates wildly at the same frequency. Every task is loaded with the same dire need for completion. Whether it's cleaning my car, feeding my cats, getting medical tests, making coffee, trading in records, cooking, taking care of bills, fucking, everything, same intensity. 
 
Each day is fueled by the panic of not getting everything done and there’s really no urgency to any of it and most of it is ongoing. 
 
I guess the point is I seem to like panic and dread. BUT the other side of that is that when everything is so loaded there’s a feeling of immense satisfaction when I get them done. Folding a load of clean laundry feels the same as if I just finished writing a novel. 
 
That’s the sad reality. I load up my docket with the mundane tasks and ongoing chores because I like being busy with that stuff. I don’t like writing. So, every day is filled with my life’s work of maintaining basic life.
 
I spent three days cleaning my office and I feel like I changed the world. I did. Mine. 
 
I really need to do some fun stuff like spend more time with friends, take a vacation, figure out how to just be calm and enjoy my life. What!? Without panic and worry? I don’t even know what that looks like. I can feel it’s possible. I can visualize it. 
 
Most of my patterns are so dug in I’m not even sure that free will exists outside of them. It all feels like chaos out there. It is. Maybe that’s what freedom is. Embracing the chaos. Riding the wave of not knowing or accepting that I actually don’t really know almost anything. Obviously, I have the freedom to do most of what I want. But what exists outside of my chosen reality and what does it take to get out there into that zone? It feels like that zone exists somewhere in between knowing you're about to get in an accident and hitting the other car. 
 
Also, I’m emotionally stunted and broken. I seem to spend a lot of time scrolling through animal vids. The ones that get me are the interspecies affection ones. Like dogs and cats, humans and monkeys, cats and birds, etc. There really seems to be genuine frequency of love out there among the beings without self awareness. I need to get there. Get out from under the paralyzing effects of my self awareness. Enough to open it up and be in that love frequency. I think I read that as chaos. I have to get this shit straight. Time is running out. 
 
Sorry, too much coffee today. A lot going on with my synapses.
 
Today I talk to my Bad Guys costar Anthony Ramos about his life journey from the projects to baseball to the original cast of Hamilton. Thursday, I talk to Jeff Stilson. He’s a great comic who wrote for Letterman for years and has been part of some classic comedy shows. Good week. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

Wet Over Crispy.

Gray days, People!
 
I’ll take them. The weather in LA has been a bit San Franny lately and I fucking love it. If I hear another person whine about the slight chill in the air and the occasional drizzle I may set them on fire. This weather is so relieving to me. Not just because I prefer it but because it means I’m not worrying about the state burning or the air being filled with apocalyptic cinder particles. 
 
I didn’t move here for the weather. I don’t mind most weather. The fact is, it will be more than 100 degrees for long stretches of weeks ahead and knowing the earth is soaked and the water containers are full make me way less anxious. Bring on the clouds. Climate change is bad but I’ll take the wet over the crispy anytime. 
 
I reunited with an old friend of mine over the weekend. A guy I have known since he was a little kid and I was a slightly older kid. Our families were friends. I hadn’t seen him in more than 20 years. We lost touch. When he was a teenager he started doing comedy after I had been doing it a few years. He couldn’t really cut it so he decided to quit. He was funny. 
 
I ran into him here and there over the years. I helped him out of a crisis back in the day and got him into a better living situation. Then, I just lost him. I would hear things here and there about what he was doing. He got married, had a kid, got divorced, was having a hard time, kind of lost, etc. He reached out a few weeks ago and we got together the other day. He went to The Comedy Store with me. We caught up. It was very emotional. 
 
We get lost sometimes. People. I’ve been lost and found a few times. I’ve lived long enough to lose friends to disease and drugs and accidents. That’s part of it. I’ve also been around long enough to lose people to broken hearts and broken spirits which is in some ways harder. When some light goes out in someone and they can no longer access the essence that made them open to life it's hard to encounter but it too is part of it. 
 
I was nervous having heard things about this guy that his spirit may be broken and he may have hardened somehow. We were emotionally connected at one time, like family. I wondered whether or not that was gone. 
 
Right when I saw this kid (53 years old) at my door I knew he was still in the light somehow. There was still that connection and it was engaged. It's an amazing thing about life and the people in yours. Sometimes, time goes by and people get away from you, for years even. When you reunite and the essence of who you both were is still there it’s a beautiful thing. One of the amazing life moments available if you don’t lose yourself entirely or shift your brain into something alien or alienating. 
 
Today I talk to comic and actor Vir Das about India and controversy. On Thursday I have what I thought was a very fun and funny talk with the perpetually odd William Shatner. Good week. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

Shot on Camera.

Calgary, People!
 
I snuck away to Calgary for a few days. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to get too jealous. 
 
Magpies and rabbits everywhere. It’s a strange thing when you travel out of the states and notice things. I notice birds all the time. I think I was in Sydney and there were cockatoos everywhere. How am I not going to notice that? In the states that’s exclusively a zoo or pet store thing. Granted, magpies and rabbits aren’t as exotic as cockatoos but they are pretty cool. I have rabbits in my yard but these were different, scrawnier, bigger. I also have parrots around but not cockatoos. 
 
It was a bit sad to get to Canada and see that the air was orange and smoky. There were fires burning out of control in Alberta and the smoke was hanging in the air in Calgary. It was all too familiar to me from the almost-ongoing fires in California over the last few years. No place to run. No place to hide. 
 
I was in Calgary for a specific reason. To get riddled with bullets. 
 
I was offered a role in a film about the white supremacist Nazi group from the eighties, The Order. I was asked to play the Denver talk radio host Alan Berg. He was an outspoken Jew and The Order massacred him in his driveway in 1984. It was a heinous murder. He was killed for his beliefs and point of view by domestic terrorists here in America. Now, that ideology and people who sympathize with it are no longer a marginalized point of view but one with defenders and supporters in the GOP and there are many more active groups with boots on the ground.  It’s happening. They are killing Jews, Asians, Mexicans, Blacks and more with regularity. Yet it still seems not to land in the public consciousness that this is an organized political movement that could take hold of the country. 
 
That’s the reason I had to take the role. Honestly, being shot for being an instigating, loudmouthed, lefty Jew has always been a fear of mine. One of my top three. I know, I am paranoid, but there is precedent and Berg is the most identifiable to me. So, the opportunity to play him enabled me to get into the skin of a guy, not unlike me, and live out a nightmare. Then play it out in fiction and hopefully keep it there. 
 
I took the role because I didn’t think anyone else should or could play the guy. I am that guy in a way. It’s not much screen time but it means something. It means something to me and gives even more context to the fascist shit show unfolding in this country now. 
 
I only have a couple of scenes in the film. There’s me talking on the mic. There’s me leaving a diner. There’s me driving home. There’s me being shot in my driveway with an automatic weapon. 
 
We shot the shooting part this trip. 
 
I had never been shot on camera. I had never been rigged with squibs. Now I have. The feeling of the squibs blowing up under my jacket and blowing blood out of holes in my back was intense. Being confronted by someone with a machine gun is horrifying. Lying in a pool of blood, dead, is messy, sticky and uncomfortable because I wasn’t really dead and it wasn’t real blood. I saw playback of the shooting and it was disturbing. 
 
Great conversations this week. Today I talk to Smokey Robinson. What an honor that was. Thursday, I talk to Amy Sherman-Palladino who is the writer/creator of The Amazing Mrs. Maisel among other stuff. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

A New Cat Fountain.

Busy work, Folks
 
A lot of big work going on over here. The baby bird obsession has been lifted. They split. 
 
I’m having my house painted. Have to. It’s time. I was very concerned about the bird’s nest in the front at the top of the roof and the little chickees. Black Phoebe babies. I almost postponed the entire job. The painter said he’d work around them and wait. I was kind of freaking out about it. Yesterday they left. No more bird shit all over the steps. So, gone. Relief. Moving on. 
 
My brain latches onto things hard. Things that take me out of myself. Things that stop the world from spinning in my head. Things that stop the panic. Things that give purpose, small purpose. Things that make me feel like I have accomplished something in the real world. Things that hold back the realization that the entire cycle of horror in this culture is starting again. It’s the little things. 
 
For instance, I needed to buy a new cat fountain. It’s a basic one. Petsafe. The original model. Sammy liked to drink out of it. It was caked with hard water deposits and just getting nasty. I cleaned it the best I could and it wouldn’t work anymore. So, I thought, trash. I got eight or so years out of it. It’s okay if it's garbage now. It’s not a huge purchase. Just get another one of the same. I do that with things that I could upgrade. I get attached. So, I trashed it and got a nice one of the same model.
 
While unboxing the new one I looked at the instruction manual. There were specific instructions about removing deposits. Even step by step instructions on how to disassemble the pump to get them out of there as well, which I assumed was the problem. So, I had some time. I like to do things. 
 
I got the old one out of the garbage. Disassembled the pump, soaked everything in a vinegar and water solution for a few hours. All the deposits came off and the pump started working again. Now I have two fountains. Can I say I ‘refurbished’ it or is that a stretch? Like, if I wanted to put my old fountain on Craig’s List or eBay could I say 'refurbished Petsafe fountain?' 
 
Is it odd that I felt a major satisfaction in getting it going again? I didn’t renovate a car. I didn’t strip a piece of furniture and restain it. I am excited though. I feel the same way when I do laundry. Not interesting conversation starters. ‘This is the pet fountain I refurbished.’
 
I built a cat door for the window as well. It's like my job. Home management. I once rewired the charger of a hand vacuum because my cat had chewed through the wire. It barely works but I don’t replace it. 
 
Hardware stores are meditative places. The noise stops and your mind is filled with possibilities. Building things and places mentally is calming. 
 
I do think about life and the world and the ends of both while I do the things. It’s my process, I guess. 
 
Today I talk to a true film artist. The singular Paul Schrader about his work and God a bit. Thursday, I talk to Warren Zanes, formerly of the Del Fuegos, about his new amazing book on the making of Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska. Great chats. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

A Well-Tended Garden.

Florida, Folks.
 
Still vegan. 

I’m flying as I write this. I have to be honest. I requested vegan meals on JetBlue going to and from Florida and they were good. I mean, they felt like they had a little heart in them. Like someone had to focus. I should have been ordering them for years.
 
I’ve been feeling different in the morning because of the vegan thing. I’m not sure if it’s actually a physical feeling or a mental feeling. I just feel cleaner inside. Like I’m not processing something awful. If the whole gut-brain connection is true, if the gut bug garden has any bearing on mental disposition, I think I’m feeling it. It doesn’t seem like just righteousness. It seems more organic, actually. No joke. 
 
I spent some time with my mother. I don’t always know exactly what to say or do when I go to see my mother. I don’t have grandkids to talk about. The life stuff talk goes by fast. The conversation kind of craps out pretty quickly. Over time, I’ve come to realize that seeing your aging parents sometimes means just sitting there while they flip through their phone or watch tv or putter around the house or talk to their dogs or do nothing. It’s okay just to be. It’s logging the time. 

I saw John, my mom’s bf, who I respectfully made fun of on my newest special. It took a lot of refining to make sure it wasn’t mean. I hadn’t talked to him since he’d seen it. I wondered what he thought about it. It took a day or two, but he said he liked it. He said it was some ‘Lenny Bruce stuff.’ That was very nice of him to say. He had seen Lenny back in the day. I also noticed I didn’t hear him say, ‘It was a different time…’ once. 
 
I also watch John putter around their little patio which he has cultivated into a well-tended little garden with potted plants. He replaced a small pinwheel ornament on the fence while I was there. It was one of four. We watched them spin a bit. Logging time. 
 
There are a couple of caveats to the talks this week. I’ve been festering about both of them, which I don’t often do. Today I talk to Rachel Weisz. I love her. Who doesn’t? I was excited to see her. That aside, I watched the entire Dead Ringers series she’s out promoting. I remember the Cronenberg film it’s based on. It’s a disturbing horror movie about twin gynecologists played by Jeremy Irons. In the new one, Rachel plays the twins. It’s a totally different approach and I was kind of blown away by the whole thing because it landed as a very deep, very powerful feminist piece of art. It’s fucking gnarly though. So, I was pretty excited about talking to her about it but I don’t think I was very clear how to break down my experience with it. I’m not now, either. I tried though and I may have been a little too excited. 
 
On Thursday I post my talk with Ice Cube. I had no idea what to expect. I had no sense of him as a person. I knew the scowl. That was burned into my brain. As with most of my talks, I seek to connect. I know Cube has some dubious tweets about Jews. I know he refused to get the Covid vaccine. I thought maybe the Jew thing would come up but once he got loose we just talked about the work. At some point during the talk I realized there was really no way to approach the Jewish stuff unless I sandbagged him at the end. I chose not to, because I enjoyed the talk and I don’t really think it would’ve changed anything or if he would’ve even engaged. 
 
Clearly, he didn’t have a problem with me, a Jew. 
 
All that said, these are both great conversations. 
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

To the Porch.

Porch time, People.
 
I just have to accept that this is my idea of fun. Sitting on my porch. I’m sitting here as I write this. 
 
I don’t know if I would experience this feeling on any porch but I sit out here and watch and listen to birds. I watch neighbors walk by as they look at me over the gate that’s connected to nothing but a hedge. I think about my yard and things that need to be done. I read sometimes. I smoke cigars sometimes (I’ll be off again soon). I write. I eat. I spiral. I figure things out. 
 
I don’t know if it’s the porch so much as it is a commitment to ride that line between what’s in my head and what’s outside of it without too much movement. Without too much stress. 
 
I guess I’ve been talking about it a bit. What am I supposed to do now? How do I enjoy my life? There’s a lot of things I think about doing, things I picture myself doing. Like traveling the world or buying an apartment in NYC. Like getting a newer, nicer car or getting my house painted. I’d like to think I’m the kind of person that can do all these things and enjoy them. I think that’s a fictional me that enjoys watching me have a good time. I am much more bound to the moment. To the porch. Where I eject from my head and listen to birds or ponder a bush I may get rid of. That’s tangible. The bush. The birds. The now. 
 
I always stop short of doing many of the things I see myself doing. It takes a lot of momentum to overcome the anxiety or dread of action to get me out of my head. I’m glad I don’t smoke weed. Then I could live in my head. 
 
I’m not completely paralyzed. If there is something I really want to do, it will eventually happen. I don’t even think about it that much. It’s more like I plant it in my head. There’s some natural part of my brain engine that works it. Shapes the desire and puts it into the ‘to do’ box without a deadline. It happens in its own time. 
 
I can manifest. I guess I should trust my filter and process. Maybe I know myself better than I give myself credit for. I do things in the world. 
 
I’m not a spiritual person. I can and do move my imaginary self through some pretty exciting stuff that I think happens in the same space spiritual stuff happens. As long as it’s not a disaster. 
 
Today I have a very engaged, deep, heavy and spiritual talk with the actor/musical artist Tituss Burgess. On Thursday I talk to psychedelics veteran Shane Mauss again about his journey ending up in a psych ward. Great talks.
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

The Pills.

Numbers are in, People!
 
It’s strange but my healthcare app will deliver my test results to me without my doctor's comments. Just as is. Then he generally chimes when he sees them. I got the blood panel on Friday and most of the results came through that night. I guess he’ll assess today. 
 
After three months of straight up veganism (though I may have had a little egg here and there in bread) my numbers are a bit better but I don’t think good enough to not be on the medicine. My LDL cholesterol was 102. Apparently, it should be below 100. It should be around 80, I think, optimally. Sooooo, what that tells me is that I am cursed with a genetic flaw that jacks my cholesterol. Disappointing. 
 
No matter what I eat I’m stuck with this borderline number. Not horrible, not great. Why not just take the pills?
 
If I’m going to take the pills that leads to the other question: Why not just eat whatever the fuck I want? There’s definitely part of me that thinks that. Why can’t I just accept that I need the medicine? It’s weird, there’s a little bit of anti-vaxxer in all of us. No one wants to need pills but the other side of that is, ‘Hey, they have pills for this. Great.’ I rarely feel that way. 
 
I haven’t really been craving meat. I think I’ve probably eaten enough meat for one lifetime. I’ve never really been a dairy person. Maybe it would be kind of good to eat fish a few times a month. I’ll have to decide. I know a lot of people are counting on me to not play a part in the animal death machine. We’ll see. 
 
The other news is I got my sugar down a bit. Out of the prediabetic range. That’s good. That one feels potentially like the bigger problem.
 
A buddy of mine told me to get my testosterone checked, so I did. It’s actually a little high. No idea what that means for my health but I feel proud for some reason. 
 
Being a man is dumb. 
 
Today I talk to J. Smith-Cameron about playing Gerri on Succession and acting and her husband, Kenneth Lonergan. Thursday, I talk to David Mandel about writing for SNL, Veep, Seinfeld, The Harvard Lampoon and his new series, White House Plumbers.
 
Enjoy!
 
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
 
Love,
Maron

Awkwardness and Revelation

Jokes are coming, Folks!

I didn’t know if they would. They usually do. I never assume they will. They are. It’s always a wonder to me. 

I’m relaxed. My new zero fucks default position is in full effect. I love it. Just being funny. 

I forget I just have to wait. Not even that long. I get done with an hour of material and I get depressed. I feel burnt out, depleted, uninspired. I lean into mundane tasks. By lean into, I mean get hyper focused on. Cats, cooking, yard maintenance, laundry, shopping for necessities, going through boxes, cleaning, personal grooming, exercise, polishing shoes, fixing shit, etc. Staying engaged in my life is the bedrock of my creativity. I know this all just sounds like life but it is consuming. While doing all of those things I take time to feed my head. Read, watch movies, TV, learn new things, parse the news, watch my peers work. Eventually things start to shake loose creatively. 

It would be better if I just allowed myself the space and didn’t have a current of self-flagellation surging through me but that is what it is. I am grateful to earn a living with my creativity. The job is living and thinking. Festering and churning. Blurting and being embarrassed. 

That is the biggest part of my struggle. Transcending embarrassment. It always has been. It’s one of the reasons I’m a comic I believe. 

My mother embarrassed me constantly. It was the most paralyzing feeling through most of my childhood. It made me nervous and unstable but it was amazing training for standup. To literally stand in your embarrassment in front of strangers and squirm out of it with the funny. 

I was at Largo the other night riffing. I got into some personal stuff as I am wont to do. It was too revealing and weird. I left feeling exposed and embarrassed and judged and ashamed somehow (I was generating most of that). I HAVE FELT THAT SO MUCH when I process shit on stage. I guess it’s taking that risk that eventually defines what I do. I hone the awkwardness and revelation of me.

So, that’s where I’m at. Again.

Today I talk to Ray Romano about our almost simultaneous start in stand up and out almost simultaneous pursuit of serious acting roles. On Thursday I talk to the amazing Lily Rabe about her roles and life and theatre and the new show Love and Death, which is great. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,

Maron